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30 March 2008: Hike to Lagos

Ate breakfast then Zoe and I made our way to the group for our walk.  We made our way to Lagos via one of the biggest and steepest hill I’ve ever seen.  There were about 8 of us there.  Bobby (one of the reps) was around my age.  He was originally from Scotland and had come over only a couple of weeks ago to work here.  There were an American couple and a couple from London too.  All very pleasant people.  Ian (from London) was an IT guy and his wife was an American lady who loved to trek and often done cycling competitions around the UK.  The American guy came along on his own he had moved to the UK two years ago with his job working in pharmaceuticals.  I was literally climbing up this hill at one point it was so steep to think I even made it!  The views from the top were amazing I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this since living in Thailand.

We walked past a few photographers who showed us an eagle up in the sky they were capturing on camera.  Down below by the sea shaw we could see Dad and Isabelle wind surfing.

We eventually made it to Lagos and settled down for a refreshment.  By this time Bobby and I had become more acquainted.  He is a really sweet guy.  The beach in Lagos was to die for. It was like something out of paradise.

Finally we made our way back stopping to see the pictures of the eagle that had been taken.  It had caught a snake and was flying high in the sky with it in its mouth.  An amazing picture to see.  We headed back down to the beach and met dad and the kids.

As usual we headed back got ready then went for dinner.  The food was outstanding, don’t think I’ve ever eaten such good food on  a half board or all inclusive basis.  Paul, the restaurant manager invited me out that night to party with the staff.  After 2 drinks I was pissed!  Had a really good night out though ended up waling the street a few times and heading back to the local bar before we all decided to grab a taxi to Lagos.  Lagos was empty the only people in the bars we us.  We walked round a few before Paul and I headed back home.

A Well Deserved Break

Its 6am in the morning and I’m sitting in the departure lounge with my family waiting for our flight to Portugal.  I’m dosed up on Co-coda mole and my vix is at the ready.  I hate flying, since the tumour my left ear just cannot tolerate the pressure of flights or underwater diving.

We are all shattered but at the same time really excited about our trip.  This is the first family holiday I’ve ever been on with the Connell’s and I’m really looking forward to it.  Have to admit I’m feeling a little dubious what with my mood swings I’m worried I might cause a bit of a riot!  Unintended of course!

We arrive in Portugal around 10am I love the feeling of coming off the plane and the heat just hits you!.  Isabelle and I are over excited what with her cowboy hat and my bright pink sunglasses we look like a total bunch of tourists!  The coach journey was around an hour and we were taken to our apartment.

It was horrid.  To say the least like a typical self catering apartment all odd furniture and only enough hot water to cater for one shower!  The view was the only thing going for it.  It took about 20 minutes to walk to the beech but the scenery was to die for.

We are on a half board holiday with Mark Warner so to say we were not impressed would have been an understatement.  We made our way to the restaurant and settled down for a drink.  Dad & Zoe had been taken to view another apartment which was nearer the beach and the facilities.  Before I knew it we were being taken back to our apartment to pack up.  Well when I say I’ve never moved out so quick I wouldn’t be lying.  Between the 5 of us we managed to repack all our gear into our suitcases, lug them down the stairs and be ready for our pickup within 10 minutes. 

We got to our new apartment which was totally the opposite scale to the old one.  New dazzling future marble flooring two living rooms and bathrooms and secure windows!  We eventually made it back to the restaurant for dinner.

The way back to the apartment was the funniest thing ever.  It was pitch black and everyone forgot where we were staying, we ended up going round and round in circles only to realise the next day we were in inches of our front door!

29 March 2007: Day One in Portugal

Had the best sleep ever last night what with the travelling and non-stop moving around I finally managed to get a good night’s rest without the pills.

We made our way to the restaurant and had breakfast the food here is very good.

It was very overcast outside but never the less we made our way down to the beach.  Isabelle and Dad took out a wind surf it was the first time I’d seen them.  Zoe and I attempted to sunbath and shield ourselves from the wind not a patch of sun in sight!

By the time we got back to our apartment we showered and made our way back out for dinner.  The staff here at Mark Warner are so polite and very easy to talk to.  We had a bit of banter.  Then back home for an early night.

Photo Shoot with ELLE Magazine

I was a bag of nerves all morning.  Today was going to be one of my biggest days so far in respect of moving forward with publicity.

I was booked in to meet ELLE magazine for 1pm in Stock Newington at a show house.  I made my way to my mums to pick her up to come with me there was no way I was going to be able to do this alone.

As a child I'd modelled for Bruce & Brown modelling agency but at the age of 12 you have no fear!  Id featured in a couple of music videos, catwalks magazines and more but having to go on a photo shoot with one of the biggest magazines around I was terrified.

Mum and I arrived early.  We waited for everyone to turn up from the make up artist to the photographer, stylist and more.  Everyone was so welcoming and friendly.  The house was really beautiful very open with diverse surroundings from modern to old throughout.

I was sent up to the changing room where there were rails of clothes and accessories for me to try on.  We had some lunch and then we were good to go.

All the clothing was designer I felt like a star trying them all on!  I went in to the room for my first shoot my legs were shaking uncontrollable and my stomach we churning all over the place.  I had people in the back ground improvising the moves I needed to make as I copied them twirling around with the wind machine at my hear I slowly began to enjoy it.  By the end of the shoot Id changed about five or six times and moved location around the house three times.

We didn’t finishing shooting until 6pm.  I was amazed by looking at the pictures that they took that it was actually me in the picture its amazing what good makeup and clothes can do for you.

After the week I had, had this was most definitely an uplifting experience.

I was supposed to go out for a meal with one of my ex's tonight and his friends but that fell through, it was a good job actually because my stomach had been playing havoc with me all day it was becoming slightly embarrassing!  Instead I went straight home and had an early night.

05 January 2008 - A friend in need

Considering I didn’t really have that much to drink last night I woke up feeling awful.  My best mate who has just recently had her first child called me in a bit of a panic.  She recently found out that she was pregnant again and was having a bit of a scare.  I picked her up for her house and we drove to her mums to drop my god daughter off at her parents.

We made our way to Watford general and sat in the waiting room for 5 hours until we were seen.  We spent most of the time talking and catching up on all the gossip I think I probably talked her ears off about Dwight.  For some reason there was some kind of connection between Dwight and I that I can safely say I had never experienced before.

As we sat waiting I could see that Tanya was feeling more and more anxious we made light of the whole situation what with one joke or another.  She was finally seen at 10pm and was almost given the all clear.  She was told to come back on Monday for a scan just to make doubly sure.  It seemed so stupid that the NHS don’t as a rule give scans on a weekend.

I went back to Tanya's house; her partner and her daughter Rose (my god daughter to be) were home.  Rose was sitting on the sofa playing with her toys.  She has become so responsive lately and is always full of smiles.

We ordered a pizza and I made my way home.  Dwight called and came and met me.  We stayed up all night talking and he stayed.

* Some names have been changed for privacy reasons

1 January 2008: Looking Ahead

I woke up with a stinking hangover.  I try not to drink so much usually, as hangovers last for two or three days now. 

Decided on my resolutions for the year ahead:

-          Reach my target of raising £1m for brain tumour charities.

-          Have a boob job.  Yes, I know it sounds frivolous – and odd to want another hospital trip in my life – but I've always wanted a boob job, since long before the tumour.  It would really boost my confidence, and the better I feel about my looks and what is on the outside, the better I feel on the inside.  There are certain things I want to do before I die and this is one of them.  I’ve learned that if I want something enough I have to make it happen sooner rather than later I can’t waist time.

-          Find a partner, settle down and be happy.  It’s hard to find a man.  I always tell them straight away about my tumour.  Some don’t want to even go there, but some get attached too quickly, they feel they have to accelerate things because I don’t know how long I’ve got.  One guy told me he loved me after a week!  I had to walk away.  The hardest thing about the tumour is not having a time frame I could have 10 years left so I have to make plans and look ahead – and that includes finding my soul mate.

31 December 2007: New Year's Eve

I woke up feeling week and disorientated.  It’s my sisters birthday party today – I would usually go, but when I feel like this I hide at home.  I hate people seeing me when I feel ill.  But when I’m absent I always gets loads of emails and texts asking if I’m OK; my mum will sometimes call me 20 times a day.  I know it’s because they care, but I don’t like all the fuss and I crave my own space.

I started to feel better later on and when a friend came over with a bottle of wine, we had an impromptu New Year’s Eve celebration.  A few more friends and my mum joined us, so it turned into a party.  We had the music on full blast and I danced the night away.